So I uploaded the videos to YouTube. They are unlisted so only people who have the links can see them. I can warn you, they aren't pretty. They aren't positive. They aren't lovely. And in 2 of the 3 I'm not very covered up.
I'm not sure why I recorded them I'm the first place. Probably more for me than anything else. But I'm posting them. I've been through cycles of probably every aspect of disordered eating you could shove into the last 15 or so years. I didn't have the ideal childhood by any means and I think I just hate who I am and that even if I lose weight I'll still dislike myself. But I still want to lose weight. I don't want to become stick thin boney emaciated but I do have a goal.
My goal is to be a healthy 19.5-22 bmi with a weight between 118.5-105 lbs. Under 18.5 bmi is underweight and this is a full point above that. Also it's a range of over 10 lbs which allows for natural weight fluctuation without having to get upset over it. I think it's reasonable.
In the first video I am in my underwear for part of the video and it's not pretty. And you can kind of see that it's um... Cold in my bathroom that day.... O.o
So this video was recorded on may 1st after I got home from work. I've never recorded a video like this so they are all kind of long.
May 1st
This video was recorded on may 3rd and you get a nice naked belly shot again. Gross..
May 3rd
And this video I recorded last night. No serious pointing out gross fat in this one. You do get to see my undies again and I prove at the end that I have no idea what the date is... Lol
May 7/8th
And please don't take those links and post them all over. They are unlisted for a reason....
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