Weird things I notice

When you don't eat on break at work, nobody really pays any attention. Or at the very least they don't comment on it.

I try to be friendly with people at work but I don't have a lot of people there I would call friends. I don't hang out with anyone outside of work on a regular basis. I don't hang or with anyone on a regular basis.

It's easy to fly under the radar which makes my life easier. I prefer not to be the center of attention.

I have an excuse for everything. I don't feel well. I already ate. I'm not hungry. I forgot my lunch at home. I forgot my money at home....

I forget why I do this in the first place. Do I just want to be thin? Is there something bigger behind it. I know I want to be thin, not like emaciated disgusting thin, but thin. But I keep reading everything saying that there is some underlying reason and that weight loss is just a symptom. How do you know what is the symptom and what is the cause though?

Long Time No Post

Well it's been a while and I've had my ups and downs and idk if anyone even reads my shit on here. But no time like the present to post on my blog, I suppose.

Today I ate 2 slices of medium chicken and pineapple pizza with half a can of Dr pepper. I also had coffee with a bit of splenda and a chonga bagel with cream cheese.

Ugh

Does anyone else find it annoying when a 300+lbs person doesn't have a double chin but someone who is 130 does? I'm worried I'll always have one, that it'll never go away, no matter how much or little I weigh.

Foods

Banquet turkey meal, strawberry banana carbmaster yogurt, mixed berry powerade zero

calories 290
fat calories 70
Fat 7.5g
Cholesterol 35Mg
Sodium 1445
Potassium 658
Carbs 36g
Dietary fiber 5g
Sugar 6
Protein 21
vitamin a 12%
calcium 26%
vitamin c 8%
iron 12%
Thiamine 6%
Niacin 47%
Folic acid 25%
B12 52%
Vitamin b6 37%
Phosphorous 20%
Magnesium 8%
zinc 8%
Manganese 15%
Vitamin d 15%

Annoyance

It's really annoying when things aren't even up for discussion. It suddenly becomes "this is how it is and nothing you say changes that" and that rightly so pisses me off. It isn't even that I want a different outcome necessarily but the sheer fact that my thoughts and opinions are immediately rejected without even being heard? That's what pisses me off. I have thoughts. I have opinions. I have intelligent well researched foundations. But apparently that means nothing because you've already closed your ears up to anything I have to say.

Hrm...

I think someone jinxed me... >.>

Cryptic Confusion

There are several reasons. There are several factors. I need to make a decision. Wait? Ignore? Don't wait? Don't know... Just venting... Sorry so cryptic. Can't be less so...