What to do

It's so hard to figure out what to do. I don't know anymore. It's decision after decision of crap on top of more crap. I don't feel more our less energy when I do or don't eat. I don't feel better or worse when I drink water or don't. I don't feel better or worse when I take a vitamin or don't. I feel bad for eating in general. I don't like to eat. If I can avoid eating I do.

So why are decisions about food not plain and clear and outlined? This is ok. This is not ok. This is ok occasionally. This is never ever ever even to be looked at. Clear guide. Doesn't exist.

I always feel kind of proud of myself when I walk past things in the store and don't even look at them. Like the ice cream aisle. The bakery. The candy aisle. I feel good not looking at them knowing I have the power to walk past and not give them the time of day they would just love to get. It's a bit odd the way I shop. Son's food. My food. Almost always separate. I don't want to deprive him of calories just because i'm depriving myself of them. It's a bit crazy sounding though...

Anyway, back to work. I didn't eat on my lunch break. Yay me!