Empty stomach. Empty heart. I got very upset tonight after a conversation and did not want to eat. I feel physically ill. Very upset. I do not like arguing. I do not like feeling bad. I do not like upsetting other people. Other people should be always happy. I have no right to take away someone else's happiness. I feel very bad. So my tummy aches and I just want to punch it and tell it to shut up because if I eat I know it's all twisted up with upset it won't likely stay down. I'm fat anyway. It'll be ok. I can stand to let it chomp on some of my disgusting fat for the night...
I don't know why I do things. I don't know why everything ends up a mess. I don't know why I forget things. I don't know why i'm such a fuckup. I don't know why I don't just curl up and disappear most days.
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